I just got off the phone with my mom and I try to not let the comments hurt me but what she says does and I tell her. My family and I just got back from a two week cruise(I advice not going on a cruise for two weeks with your family) Way to much togetherness. Anyway the trip was hard. I didn't think it would be that difficult. The trip was planned after I lost my precious Madeline, so she wasn't going to be joining me anyway-I mean I wouldn't leave my precious baby to go on a crusie. Spending time with my daughter beats any cruise I could take. Well the trip started out bad. I get stuck next to a lady with her baby, she is sitting next to me loving on her child while I'm facing the window crying quietly. I couldn't even switch seats because the plane was full. It just went downhill from there. Way to many small children on this trip. I was trying to get away and relax and that didn't happen. Babies, small children in my face and I couldn't get away-aaggghhh.
Well, my mom thinks I'm slipping backwards beacuse I was crying sitting next to a women on the plane with a baby and then crying when I see babies on the trip. I tell her I'm doing fine. I cry then pull myself together, little triggers-this is normal. Then she is nagging me about having more children. I want to have brother's or sister's for Madeline but my husband is scared to continue. This is KILLING me. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this. I'm going on 8 months and want to be pregnant, but it isn't happening for us. My therapist says there is nothing I can do right now except focus on myself. I'm tired of that I want to be pregnant. Why can't I get my husband on bored?